Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Life goals quick strike
While the personal statement that I started marinates for a couple of days, I figured I would turn my attention back to the more general search for a life goal. One of the lawyers I work with regularly mentioned for the umpteenth time that I should not go to law school. Hardly anyone says they like it. Even when they purposefully abandon their complaints, the praise is so lukewarm that it further damns that option. Tragically, it is becoming more and more clear that I need to adopt a shotgun approach and apply to anything and everything. Thus keeping my options open. The leg work behind large-scale endeavor is always my undoing. Late at night, my plans are inspired. In the morning, I can only count the hours until I can turn my full attention to idle pursuits. It could be a long winter.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Personal Statement Round 1
"Are you going to answer the question?"
Drowsily, I dragged my head off my desk, blinked the remaining sleep out of my eyes, and mumbled, "what was the question again?"
Replying with a familiar look of frustration, my european studies teacher repeated the question and the entire class turned in an anticipation of the reprimand I was sure to receive.
Still a little hazy from the abrupt awakening, I managed to blurt out, "The Peace of Westphalia, 1648."
The earlier frustration quickly turned to surprise and a brief glance around the classroom confirmed that no one expected me to get the right answer. Even the prettiest girl in my high school was staring at me with an expression I never expected from her. She was impressed.
It was a good feeling.
Unfortunately, it didn't last. A few minutes later, the excitement of nailing a tough question was dragged away by an irresistable sleepiness that, at the risk of sounding dramatic, felt like a riptide pulling me under the water.
As you have likely guessed, I suffer from narcolepsy.
Sometimes I'll be leaving notes for myself. Other times a different angle in brackets. I'll post again soon with the next part.
Drowsily, I dragged my head off my desk, blinked the remaining sleep out of my eyes, and mumbled, "what was the question again?"
Replying with a familiar look of frustration, my european studies teacher repeated the question and the entire class turned in an anticipation of the reprimand I was sure to receive.
Still a little hazy from the abrupt awakening, I managed to blurt out, "The Peace of Westphalia, 1648."
The earlier frustration quickly turned to surprise and a brief glance around the classroom confirmed that no one expected me to get the right answer. Even the prettiest girl in my high school was staring at me with an expression I never expected from her. She was impressed.
It was a good feeling.
Unfortunately, it didn't last. A few minutes later, the excitement of nailing a tough question was dragged away by an irresistable sleepiness that,
As you have likely guessed, I suffer from narcolepsy.
Sometimes I'll be leaving notes for myself. Other times a different angle in brackets. I'll post again soon with the next part.
One week
It's been a week since my last post. I don't know why that is. There are several excuses to choose from. They range from the legitimate to the inconsequential, but at the root of my posting failure is laziness. Pure unadulterated sloth. Only the finest.
Ironically, the only solution I've found for the problem requires a surge in ambition and life momentum. When I was lazy growing up in Oxford, I had to find a college where I didn't know anyone and would have to build a new life for myself. Then when I was lazy in college, I had to move to DC and see what the real world was like. Now, the same problem is back: I have re-established a comfort zone.
Back in the heydays of Ontario Rd, Ralph would, among other things, speak about how adversity is a necessity for personal growth. While not a revolutionary idea, it can easily be overlooked. Spend a day or a week or a month focusing on the little things that can slow you down, and you lose sight of the bigger picture. Of course, I'm not sure I've seen the bigger picture yet.
Although I hate work for work's sake, I think starting to write my new narcolepsy themed personal statement will help spur me to action. Doing the edits for all of Cornelius' essays have reminded me that there's a considerable amount of legwork that goes into any big move. I suppose I should get ready.
Ironically, the only solution I've found for the problem requires a surge in ambition and life momentum. When I was lazy growing up in Oxford, I had to find a college where I didn't know anyone and would have to build a new life for myself. Then when I was lazy in college, I had to move to DC and see what the real world was like. Now, the same problem is back: I have re-established a comfort zone.
Back in the heydays of Ontario Rd, Ralph would, among other things, speak about how adversity is a necessity for personal growth. While not a revolutionary idea, it can easily be overlooked. Spend a day or a week or a month focusing on the little things that can slow you down, and you lose sight of the bigger picture. Of course, I'm not sure I've seen the bigger picture yet.
Although I hate work for work's sake, I think starting to write my new narcolepsy themed personal statement will help spur me to action. Doing the edits for all of Cornelius' essays have reminded me that there's a considerable amount of legwork that goes into any big move. I suppose I should get ready.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Real purposeful blogging
Judging solely by the title, I may avoid my usual incoherent rambles tonight. Good thing too, as I'd like to go to bed soon.
Tonight's post is real and purposeful because I did actual research into a possible future option. Consequently, observant readers will notice the new "law school" and "teaching fellows" tags. Law school will likely appear on nearly every post. It's still the inevitable. I don't know that it will be dethroned anytime soon. But, that still doesn't mean we should proceed with the coronation. Funny how that works.
I built up a little momentum last night while talking to Lauren and Katie about the future. In the recent past, we've spent more time discussing what their next moves would be as they trudged through the long unpleasant job application process. Now that Katie is starting to get settled and Lauren is widening her job search, they were curious whats next for me. I brought up DC Teaching Fellows as a new possibility on the rise. But like so many of the up and coming ideas, I know so little about it.
Maybe it's the brisk September air reminding me about all good things, I don't know, but the next morning I woke up ready to research the next step. Gone were the thirty early morning Bengals.com checks and instead there was a trip to the DC Teaching Fellows website. The program looks like it has a lot of potential. Part of me has always wanted to be a teacher. When I applied to be a Higher Achievement (HAP) mentor, I spoke about my mom's time as a librarian and my dad's career as a professor. Although it's rarely at the front of my mind, education has always been a huge part of my life. More importantly, the thought of a captive audience for my bad jokes is too good to pass up.
The salary looks reasonable and the prospect of reduced masters tuition could add some appeal. It has a nice blend of reasonable standard of living (43K), a definite time-frame (2 year commitment), and tangible career progress (a masters degree). Furthermore, it's something I won't be able to do later. Put more accurately, it's something I won't give myself the opportunity to do until much later. At 23, teaching for a few years has a lot of appeal. I haven't the faintest what will be appealing at 25. Perhaps I'll suffer a debilitating quarter-life crisis, or maybe my dormant ambition will finally kick in and I'll boldly seek out fame and fortune. Neither of these seem plausible, but I can't rule them out.
It's past my bedtime so I'm going to leave off here. I'm a little disappointed in this post. The secondary objective of the blog is to hone my writing skills and better harness the cleverness I sometimes display when speaking. However, the quality writing just isn't there tonight. The paragraphs seem disjointed, the sentences disconnected, and the words disorganized. Despite the flaws, Rome was not built in a day and neither is a coherent narrative about a confusing topic. Or so I try and tell myself.
Tonight's post is real and purposeful because I did actual research into a possible future option. Consequently, observant readers will notice the new "law school" and "teaching fellows" tags. Law school will likely appear on nearly every post. It's still the inevitable. I don't know that it will be dethroned anytime soon. But, that still doesn't mean we should proceed with the coronation. Funny how that works.
I built up a little momentum last night while talking to Lauren and Katie about the future. In the recent past, we've spent more time discussing what their next moves would be as they trudged through the long unpleasant job application process. Now that Katie is starting to get settled and Lauren is widening her job search, they were curious whats next for me. I brought up DC Teaching Fellows as a new possibility on the rise. But like so many of the up and coming ideas, I know so little about it.
Maybe it's the brisk September air reminding me about all good things, I don't know, but the next morning I woke up ready to research the next step. Gone were the thirty early morning Bengals.com checks and instead there was a trip to the DC Teaching Fellows website. The program looks like it has a lot of potential. Part of me has always wanted to be a teacher. When I applied to be a Higher Achievement (HAP) mentor, I spoke about my mom's time as a librarian and my dad's career as a professor. Although it's rarely at the front of my mind, education has always been a huge part of my life. More importantly, the thought of a captive audience for my bad jokes is too good to pass up.
The salary looks reasonable and the prospect of reduced masters tuition could add some appeal. It has a nice blend of reasonable standard of living (43K), a definite time-frame (2 year commitment), and tangible career progress (a masters degree). Furthermore, it's something I won't be able to do later. Put more accurately, it's something I won't give myself the opportunity to do until much later. At 23, teaching for a few years has a lot of appeal. I haven't the faintest what will be appealing at 25. Perhaps I'll suffer a debilitating quarter-life crisis, or maybe my dormant ambition will finally kick in and I'll boldly seek out fame and fortune. Neither of these seem plausible, but I can't rule them out.
It's past my bedtime so I'm going to leave off here. I'm a little disappointed in this post. The secondary objective of the blog is to hone my writing skills and better harness the cleverness I sometimes display when speaking. However, the quality writing just isn't there tonight. The paragraphs seem disjointed, the sentences disconnected, and the words disorganized. Despite the flaws, Rome was not built in a day and neither is a coherent narrative about a confusing topic. Or so I try and tell myself.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Weekend hiatus
The weekend is over. Sad as I am to admit it, I can't hold out any longer. Sunday nights are always hard because you have time to think about all the things you didn't accomplish, but no time to actually accomplish them. Given the larger purpose of the blog, I should have spent more time thinking about what I'm going to do with my life.
Instead, drinking and failure and all the usual things that are more fun than thinking about the future.
However, I did chance upon one good chat about law school. Much like an early front-runner in a presidential campaign, law school, "the prohibitive favorite" (my words), has been taking shots from all the other challengers. It has a sense of morbid inevitability at this point. I don't want morbid inevitability. In fact, the opposite would be much preferred. Something that takes 1-2 years, doesn't put me in debt, and gives me a good resume line / life experience is ideal. That's not law school.
Soon enough, I'll revisit the list found in the first post and I'll start to break down each option. One of those school choices is going to happen. It has a more complete sense of inevitability, but inevitable doesn't mean it has to happen now, or even that I should seek it out. I think I could be very happy running from it for a while.
Instead, drinking and failure and all the usual things that are more fun than thinking about the future.
However, I did chance upon one good chat about law school. Much like an early front-runner in a presidential campaign, law school, "the prohibitive favorite" (my words), has been taking shots from all the other challengers. It has a sense of morbid inevitability at this point. I don't want morbid inevitability. In fact, the opposite would be much preferred. Something that takes 1-2 years, doesn't put me in debt, and gives me a good resume line / life experience is ideal. That's not law school.
Soon enough, I'll revisit the list found in the first post and I'll start to break down each option. One of those school choices is going to happen. It has a more complete sense of inevitability, but inevitable doesn't mean it has to happen now, or even that I should seek it out. I think I could be very happy running from it for a while.
Friday, September 14, 2007
In alcohol, accuracy
The above title saps much of the appeal behind "in vino veritas." Of course, they mean the same thing, unless the contention that some other aspect of fermented grape juice conjures truth. An unlikely theory at best.
Rambles aside, my future was discussed tonight and, consequently, a post must be written. Earlier in the evening, I spoke with my friend Cornelius about our futures. It seems we're each facing a similar crossroads. Drained by constant entry level job ambivalence, the discussion regularly turns to what's next. He brought up joining the army, and I countered with doing DC Teaching Fellows. A humorous throwback to our earliest political debates I thought. After the call, I felt better because I knew I wasn't the only one. Likely, I could have figured that out myself, but it was nice all the same.
We also discussed an amazing book, Crimes Against Logic. Somewhere, I'll review the book in greater depth. I'm only a third through and I already love it.
Rambles aside, my future was discussed tonight and, consequently, a post must be written. Earlier in the evening, I spoke with my friend Cornelius about our futures. It seems we're each facing a similar crossroads. Drained by constant entry level job ambivalence, the discussion regularly turns to what's next. He brought up joining the army, and I countered with doing DC Teaching Fellows. A humorous throwback to our earliest political debates I thought. After the call, I felt better because I knew I wasn't the only one. Likely, I could have figured that out myself, but it was nice all the same.
We also discussed an amazing book, Crimes Against Logic. Somewhere, I'll review the book in greater depth. I'm only a third through and I already love it.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Failure
Writing about the pros and cons of law school was ranked highly on tonight's agenda... until I came home and my roommate dealt me in on a heaping plate of delicious chicken fajitas. The twist of that subtle productivity-killing knife was when they started up Cars On Demand and then went to bed precisely at the moment I became committed to watching the whole thing. Bastards.
On the brighter side, I did speak briefly with a friend about law school... and how I shouldn't go. That's life planning if ever I saw it (perhaps I haven't seen it very often).
On the much less talked about dimmer side, it is nearly 1:30am and I'm still up. Strong evidence that my frisbee team's repeated declaration that, "it feels like Friday," was an omen of ill productivity tidings.
Failure.
On the brighter side, I did speak briefly with a friend about law school... and how I shouldn't go. That's life planning if ever I saw it (perhaps I haven't seen it very often).
On the much less talked about dimmer side, it is nearly 1:30am and I'm still up. Strong evidence that my frisbee team's repeated declaration that, "it feels like Friday," was an omen of ill productivity tidings.
Failure.
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